As you can guess from the above title, Shayne Borland is back in town. He made a heroic return to the pub on Boxing Day while Miss Contradiction and I were having a quiet alcohol binge. And when I say heroic, he literally walked in with his hands clasped above his head like a returning hero or prize fighter. He then made a beeline for us. Miss Contradiction was sitting with her back to the door but could tell by my face that something was horribly wrong.
He was already about a billion sheets to the wind, wandering around and repeating himself and pestering us for sex. Then the bar girl told me that apparently he has been in rehab, not Bribie Island. Good to see rehab worked for him. He ended up being kicked out after literally one drink.
He then got into a taxi, went around the corner into Cabramatta Road, exited the taxi straight away and came back, hoping they would think he was a different person and he would be let back in. When this clever ploy didn’t work, Shayne Borland stood outside the pub for approximately one hour, by himself, looking in the window.
When Miss Contradiction and myself went out to the smokers’ refuge, he proceeded to hover over the ropes and try to get our attention. We ignored him, and the bouncer hilariously referred to Shayne Borland as a “serial pest”. He said this in total seriousness, making it even funnier. Shayne Borland, serial pest, we salute you.
Several days ago, Shayne Borland commenced hassling me by SMS again, as follows.
Shayne Borland: Are you going up to Cremorne 2nite?
Town Bike: No
SB: Please?
TB: No
SB: OK, can we have sex before I go?
TB: No
SB: Does that men yes?
TB: It means no
SB: So will I see you at Cremorne 2nite?
TB: No
The dance continues.
7 comments:
You guys are fucking evil nothing changed so far in 2009 Get a mirror and have look before you trash the world
And you openly admit that you are the town bike that is a given
Wake up dirty little alco sluts of Cremorne
And you, apparently, don’t believe in punctuation.
hey ladies,i use that term lightly.
the tourist board wants to know if they use guys for cave exploring.
the reason being we heard your holes were big enough for several people to be in them
can you ladies close your legs that fish smell is comming up to brisbane.
no wonder why sydney has had a cat problem.
close them and learn to clean out your ladies parts.do they make soap for that.
how hard is it to be a skank.does it come easy for you.
Who gave the kids in the English Second Language class internet access?
Post a Comment