Slow Child Toucher

And by slow I mean mildly retarded, like the kind of retarded child interferer you see on the news.

It almost makes one grateful for one's higher education. Oh yes.

I Found my Thrill....on Mulberry Hill

Well, after a lovely day at a lovely high brow members function at Randwick Racecourse on Saturday, I decided to go hurtling in the other direction and have Jason drive me home. Well someone had to do it, and Jason is cheaper than a taxi. This is my new thing, I email him and ask him to drive me places. His car is an extension of his manhood basically so he invariably does it to avoid being emasculated.

So I totter down to Doncaster Ave, drunkenly in gold stilletto's and Jason picks me up and we go to my place. Keep in mind I am fairly (Ok, very) drunk at this stage so my version of events may or may not be correct. We then head to his friend Alex's place, not sure why, but I do remember drinking straight vodka.

From there we head over the bridge to some servo where we meet up with Lobo, Mason and Bad Smells sister so Jason can get pot and off we trot to Jason's new appartment in Breakfast Point. Has anyone heard of this place because I have lived in Sydney all my life and have never come across it. The apartment block is called Mulberry Hill. For some reason this amuses me.

I then had the pleasure of meeting Jason's brother, eating Macca's and then watching the football followed by some drunken shagging in a SINGLE BED. A large single allegedly but you must keep in mind Jason and I are not exactly small people.

The next morning I woke up to Jason snoring in my ear and lying practically on top of me in an effort to fit on the bed. He wakes up and has a shower (whilst having a cigarette - a talent of Jason's I particularly admire) and we head off down in the lift when Jason has a sudden realisation "OMG I am straight". We head back upstairs so Jason can punch 2 cones.

He drove me home, although I paid for the bridge because he had done his arse on the pokies the night before.

All is right with the world people, everything is as it should be.