COMING SOON: The Trial Of The Century!!

Brush up on your case law and drop your barrister's wig and robe into the dry cleaners because the trial of the century is about to get underway.

Move over OJ!!

The Cat Book

Tonight I am going to the pub to be presented with a Cat Book courtesy of the Irish Guy.

More details as they come to hand.

The Results Are In!

The results are in of our "Who is your hero" poll of November 24!

The joint winners were "The ghost of Christmas past" and "Shayne D. Borland" with two votes each.

Closely followed by "Jason A. Gray" and "Other" with one vote each.

Hunter S. Thompson was a sorry last with zero votes.

This means we should all start moulding our lifestyles on the Ghost of Christmas Past and Shayne Borland ASAP.

When I Come Back as a Lesbian I want to be Shane from the L Word

I have a serious girl crush on Shane from the L Word.

In fact Town Bike, Bad Smell and I all do.


Alice: Shane!
Papi: Shane?
Alice: Ahh, this ought to be interesting.
[showdown music]
Shane: Hey, hey.
Papi: You're Shane?
Shane: [shoots tequila, exhales] Whew! [addresses Papi] Yeah.
Papi: You're just a skinny little white girl.
Shane: [looks down at herself] Oh. Yeah, I guess I am.
Alice: Shane!
Shane: [distractedly] What?
Alice: This is Papi.
Shane: Who?
Alice: Papi.
Shane: So what?
Papi: So, I'm your competition.
Shane: Oh. Oh, OK. Well, you know, I don't know exactly what we're competing for, but, uh, you win. So, it was nice meeting you.

She is just so incredibly cool.

Armageddon Awaits

I have some bad news to share.

Shayne.

Borland.

Is.

Coming.

Back.

RUN FOR THE HILLS!! AND GROUND ALL PLANES FROM BRIBIE ISLAND!!!

Birkenstocks are not the New Black

From Wikipedia:

"Birkenstock is a German brand of sandals and other shoes, notable for their contoured cork and rubber footbeds, which conform somewhat to the shape of their wearers' feet. Representative products include the two-strap sandal, the Arizona, and the Boston clog. Birkenstock shoes are worn with or without socks, the choice generally based on outside temperature."

They are also extremely ugly. Not quite as offensive as Crocs, but very close.

And if you absolutely must wear them, NEVER wear them with socks.

The Irish Guy

It seems Lady Goon has been making all and sundry aware of our blog, and a certain Irish person is slightly miffed at not having a single mention.

Now it should be known the the Irish Guy is not actually Irish at all, but is in fact Canadian. Town Bike mistook his accent for Irish and of course he has been the Irish Guy ever since.

Things the Irish Guy likes:

1. Feeding his magpies, Charlie & Charlize
2. Birkenstocks
3. Taking photo's of street signs
4. Liver

I Won 25 Cremorne Dollars

Well last night I ventured into our favourite Lower North Shore Craphole, purely to collect some money I was owed.

This was at 6pm and I stumbled out of there at 10.30pm......$50 poorer of course.

Miss Penelope and I stayed for trivia and I actually won $25 Cremorne Dollars. This is amazing because usually I am too drunk to concentrate for very long and wander off somewhere.

Penny Traition was unwell last night and was replaced by the hilarious Tora Hymen.

Miss Penelope ended up at the Cross until all hours and I stumbled home and tried to fix my leaking toilet and managed to make it worse. Note to self, do not attempt home repairs whilst 3 sheets to the wind when you can't actually manage it stone cold sober.

I will have to have Gazza come over and fix it.

Announcement: I Miss Shayne Borland

Who would have ever thought it would be possible to miss that endearing little ferret, Shayne Borland.

No one else in the area provides as much entertainment.

I miss his drug-fuelled antics, endless tall stories and compulsive lying.

Shayne Borland, we hardly knew thee.

Welcome Lady Goon

"Wine in a box, affectionately known as GOON to most Australians, has become a symbol of a cheap, enjoyable afternoon in the park. Try pegging the bladder to a Hills Hoist Clothes line for a fun game of 'Goon of fortune'."

Goon-of-fortune

Goon-of-fortune can be played at any good party, or gives any shit party a good kick. All that is needed is a goon bag and a clothesline. Everyone takes his or her position under the clothesline & the bag is pegged on. The clothesline is spun around while everyone is singing the theme song for WHEEL-OF-FORTUNE. The lucky person the bag lands on gets to have a good mouthful & the bag line is spun again till everyone is too drunk to spin."

I would just like to take the opportunity to welcome a new reader to our blog, affectionately known as Lady Goon, or Your Royal Highness.....depending on how many sheets to the wind we are at the time.

3 Sheets to the Wind

"three sheets to the wind

1. Old sailing term. After setting all three main sails to the wind, a ship will shudder and roll, much like a stumbling drunk. Now used as a synonym for drunkenness.
Don't take notice of Angus, lad, he's three sheets to the wind.

2. This old saying indicating how a person walk after having too much to drink originated in New England. Wind mills used for grinding grain had four blades. Big sheets (similar to sails) where stretched across the blades (or woven between the slates). The wind mill would wobble when only three blades were loaded, hence the term "three sheets to the wind"
After consuming a bottle of rum, Bob was walking as if he had three sheets to the wind.

3. to be explicitly drunk; inebriated origin: sheets actually refer to the ropes that are used to secure a ship's sail. If the 3 ropes used were loose in the wind, the sail would flop around, causing the ship to wobble around, much like a drunk.
Margo was three sheets to the wind by the time we made it to Doug's party, judging by her inability to keep her clothes on."

Town Bike and I can often be referred to as being 6 sheets to the wind. Sometimes 12 on special occasions.

Vote In Our Poll!

Hunter S. Thompson is my Hero

I have only just discovered this movie, and reading the book is next on my to do list.

It is hilarious.

Some favourite quotes:

Raoul Duke: We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, laughers, screamers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into locked a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

Raoul Duke: [narrating] We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like: Raoul Duke: I feel a bit lightheaded. Maybe you should drive. Raoul Duke: [narrating] Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, and a voice was screaming: Raoul Duke: Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals? [swatting the air] Raoul Duke: Huh! Huh! Huh! Fucking pigs. Dr. Gonzo: Did you say something? Raoul Duke: Hm? Never mind. It's your turn to drive. Raoul Duke: [narrating] No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastard will see them soon enough.

Dr. Gonzo: Sounds like big trouble. You're going to need plenty of legal advice before this thing is over. As your attorney, I advise you to rent a very fast car with no top. And you'll need the cocaine. Tape recorder for special music. Acapulco shirts. Get the hell out of L.A. for at least 48 hours. Blows my weekend. Raoul Duke: Why? Dr. Gonzo: Because naturally I'm going to have to go with you. And we're going to have to arm ourselves... to the teeth!

Discuss.

Contemplative Jason

Pop quiz: what is Jason thinking about??

a) Goblins
b) The new season's range of ice pipes as seen in Ice magazine
c) He is wondering why he wore his blue rag shirt instead of the moss shirt.

Balconies R Us

I am officially an idiot, if you had not come to that conclusion previously.

2 weeks ago (yes kids I have been lazy about updating you.....soz) Town Bike and I had a bender. At some stage I went home and passed out. I had in my possesion something that belonged to Town Bike and after she tried to ring me and knocked on my door a few times she let herself in (she has a key) and woke me up. This would bother some people but for some reason it didn't bother me at all.

After Town Bike toddled off home I went out for a cigarette (yes I did give up, but you try going to Europe and not taking it up again, everyone smokes, everywhere!!!) and managed to LOCK MYSELF OUT ON MY BALCONY FOR 4 HOURS.

No, I am not joking.

Luckily I was off my face.

The Fire Brigade had to rescue me.

No, I am not joking.

After I woke up my neighbours because of course my phone was inside.

Why God?? Why

It seems that Shayne Borland may have a slight issue with understanding the difference between "days" and "months".

We had only been rid of him for four days when it was overheard last night that he is cutting his "summer in Queensland" short because he misses the pub and wants to come back.

In three weeks.

ARGH YOU PROMISED US THREE MONTHS!!!!

And The Prize For The Most Confusing Facebook Status Update Goes To...

Why, Shayne Borland, of course.

"Shayne Borland wonders why the doctor was confused when I asked him 4 stilnox 2 sleep on Bribie Island, Hello Dr just came up from Sydney!!!"

WTF does that even mean? Obviously they never taught him English during his reign as supreme commander of the Comancheros.

Dear Bribie Island: Please Take Him

I was lazing around in a pool of my own crapulence at 7am this morning, trying to encourage myself to get out of bed, when my phone buzzed with a message. People rarely contact me, let alone at 7am, so I knew it could only be one person: Shayne Borland.

Shayne Borland was texting me at 7am on a Wednesday to announce that he had pills. What a fucking doofus. Who is thinking about pills on a rainy Wednesday morning.

Does he need any help with his airfare to Bribie Island? Because I am willing to pay, as long as it's a one-way ticket.

Where Did He Come From, And Can He Go Back There?

Since the sudden and mysterious appearance of Shayne Borland several months ago I have been having discussions with various people, and it appears no one quite knows where Shayne Borland emerged from. (And more importantly as an aside, is there any chance he can go back there?)

Shayne Borland spends his entire life wandering around the pub annoying other people so it seems unlikely he was there the whole time and we didn't notice him.

Another point to ponder is: why hasn't he been banned yet? Seeing as he spends the majority of time with his wobbly boot on, scaring other people and dealing drugs in plain view of everyone, it would likely be in the pub's best interest to get rid of him. Apparently he is on thin ice, but as far as I'm concerned, any ice that's preventing Shayne Borland from being banned is way too thick.

Skank is the New Black

These girls were photographed at Manly Beach recently trying to pick up blokes by writing their mobile phone numbers on their backs in blue zinc.

Not surprisingly, they had travelled to Manly from the Western Suburbs.

Perhaps I could try this at the hole?? What do you think?

Cat in a Cow Suit

Now this is my idea of a marketing strategy.....

A Chicken Suit Would Have Been Better

I was walking up Military Rd past the pub at 8am one weekday morning. No, I wasn't going to the pub, I was going to work. Anyhoo, I suddenly noticed someone dressed in a cow suit stumbling around outside the pub, harassing passers-by on the way to work.

My first thought was "did Uncle Pete pull a cow suit out of the Goodwill box again?", then someone explained to me that this is another (extremely well executed) marketing strategy by the "hole" to advertise their free-steak-with-schooner night (yeah, because when you're eating a piece of meat, you really want to associate it with the animal it came from).

Our friend Lady Goon informs us that while she was waiting at the bus stop one morning, the cow suit person approached a bus window and started banging on it with two hands. Well, if that's not going to get in more paying customers, I don't know what is.

Hotnesssssss

(L-R) Target Big & Tall Model, Shayne Borland, Charles Dae-Knight

I really like the way Shayne Borland has thrown a collared shirt over the top of his favourite blue t-shirt to give it a structured, formal edge. Don't you?

More Mingles

Do yourself a favour and check out some of the photo galleries....it's a pisser!!

http://www.mingles.com.au/gallery/

Mingles - Example of the Hotness

Discuss.....

Hooray, I Remembered my Password for Blogger

BREAKING NEWS ON JASON'S GF

Her name is Rochelle....yes....Rochelle and Jason.

They met at Mingles in Burwood.She is an alcoholic. He thinks this is a virtue rather than a vice.

According to Bad Smell she is not very attractive.

According to Bad Smell everyone is attractive so she must be pretty bloody ugly.

Shayne Borland, The Most Unintentionally Funny Person In The World

In case you couldn’t guess from the above title, I am about to write a rant about a new loser on the scene called Shayne Borland.

Let me start by saying his name isn't really Shayne Borland. I have cleverly disguised it by adding a letter to the first and last name. This is to prevent him Googling himself and finding the site. I won't tell you which letters are added. OK it's the y and the r. Yes, he does have the most bogantastic name ever.

Shayne Borland is the idiot who reckons his father owns the Cremorgue Hotel. Whether or not this is true, let me say I don't especially think it's anything to boast about.

Some other funny points about Shayne Borland:

* He has a rat's tail. Yes, a rat's tail outside of 1989.
* He stands at the door of the pub next to the bouncer handing out pills as people walk in.
* He doesn't smoke but stands on the step in the smoking area, hovering over his minions.
* He wears the same outfit all the time - 3/4 cargo pants and a blue t-shirt. Miss Contradiction and I joke that when he goes to work he still wears the outfit but just puts an elasticised tie over the top.
* Speaking of work, he revealed on Sunday that he quit his job because he prefers to go to the beach in the summer.
* He pulled out the pearler the other day that he and I were apparently a couple for one day. This must have been the day I could talk to him without laughing.

Yes, Shayne Borland truly gives us immense doses of hilarity.

Uncle Pete is on Facebook.....GROOOOVERS

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1409380151&ref=nf

Yes it's true kids.

I urge you all to become friends with him immediately!!!!

The Lower North Shore Loses Another Craphole Icon

I was walking to work this morning in the freezing cold. Yes I have had the best few months on record. Not. A hose in my car went on Sunday morning so now I'm without transport for a few days.

Anyway I was walking to work through Crows Nest when I noticed that the Stoned Crow has been borded up and apparently reoccupied by the landlord. Everything was a-ok in Stoned Crow land when I was loitering outside on Friday lunchtime. What could possibly have happened to the Stoned Crow? And will the hole be next? One can only hope...

Stop the Press.....Jason has a GF

I found this out the other night when I couldn’t get onto the pizza place so I rang Jason. I actually have no idea why I rang him (OK, I have a fair idea why but I am not sure what I said). He texted me the next day and said “sorry about last night, I have a girlfriend”.

This is a problem for me because I rely on Jason for 2 things:

1. Driving me places
2. Sex

This means I will have to actively recruit a new FB and let’s face it I am too lazy.

This also means I might have to start living in reality and think about moving on, but I am probably too lazy to do that either.

The problem is I am rather fond of the scoundrel, but unfortunately I am too old for him. I mean I am 4 years younger than him and that is about 13 years too old for him. Yes, he likes his lowies young and on a comparative mental playing ground as him.

There is also no confirmation on whether his baby mama is aware of this and or the private investigator.

That will be interesting considering they were all moving in together.

The Hole Is Still A Hole

Last night Miss Contradiction and I ventured back to that embodiment of loose morality, "the hole". I haven't visited the place in months due to the fact that I'm having an intense spiritual crisis and I have to say that my memories of the place started to grow fond in retrospect. It's true what they say, absence DOES make the heart grow fonder.

Unfortunately that sentiment was misplaced as last night the place was crawling with bottom feeders. In fact it seemed like every loser and his dog was out in full force last night. After taking enough drugs to kill a brown cow, as previously mentioned, I still couldn't alter my reality enough to believe that there were fun and interesting people in the place.

I actually met the king of all losers last night. Yesterday afternoon. I was putting on bets and this bogan comes up and starts big noting himself to me. I was all "whatever" and trying to be polite but seriously just wanted to get out of there. Turns out his father owns the place and he is possibly the most spoiled indulgent brat I've ever met. I mean he was so drunk and the bouncers wanted to kick him out. How much of a public nuisance would you have to be if your father owned the pub and the bouncers still wanted to throw you out. He kept invading my personal space and asked me to be his girlfriend and I said "not if you were the last man on earth". What's so hard to understand about "I don't like to be touched, particularly by you?" I even told him he was annoying and he still thought I was his BFF. Now I have a good reason not to go back to the pub for another three months. Gross.

Slow Child Toucher

And by slow I mean mildly retarded, like the kind of retarded child interferer you see on the news.

It almost makes one grateful for one's higher education. Oh yes.

I Found my Thrill....on Mulberry Hill

Well, after a lovely day at a lovely high brow members function at Randwick Racecourse on Saturday, I decided to go hurtling in the other direction and have Jason drive me home. Well someone had to do it, and Jason is cheaper than a taxi. This is my new thing, I email him and ask him to drive me places. His car is an extension of his manhood basically so he invariably does it to avoid being emasculated.

So I totter down to Doncaster Ave, drunkenly in gold stilletto's and Jason picks me up and we go to my place. Keep in mind I am fairly (Ok, very) drunk at this stage so my version of events may or may not be correct. We then head to his friend Alex's place, not sure why, but I do remember drinking straight vodka.

From there we head over the bridge to some servo where we meet up with Lobo, Mason and Bad Smells sister so Jason can get pot and off we trot to Jason's new appartment in Breakfast Point. Has anyone heard of this place because I have lived in Sydney all my life and have never come across it. The apartment block is called Mulberry Hill. For some reason this amuses me.

I then had the pleasure of meeting Jason's brother, eating Macca's and then watching the football followed by some drunken shagging in a SINGLE BED. A large single allegedly but you must keep in mind Jason and I are not exactly small people.

The next morning I woke up to Jason snoring in my ear and lying practically on top of me in an effort to fit on the bed. He wakes up and has a shower (whilst having a cigarette - a talent of Jason's I particularly admire) and we head off down in the lift when Jason has a sudden realisation "OMG I am straight". We head back upstairs so Jason can punch 2 cones.

He drove me home, although I paid for the bridge because he had done his arse on the pokies the night before.

All is right with the world people, everything is as it should be.

Ahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Looky here what I found on Facebook:



Robbie looks so good in this outfit. I reckon he should wear it all the time.

It almost makes me wish I hadn't been too off my face to go to Robbie's party on Saturday night. This shit alone would have been worth the cover charge.

Roadkill-Throwing Bandit Strikes Again

I wonder if this is the same guy who got kicked out of the hole for chucking a dead possum at the bouncers??

Click

Robbie Is A Loser (But You Already Knew That, Right?)

Earlier this morning I received a Facebook invitation to Robbie’s 25^th birthday, of course to be held at the Sobar.

I immediately declined as I think Robbie is a loser but on further inspection I realised he has invited EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON HIS FACEBOOK PAGE. Yes, all 50 million of them. WTF? Do you really think you’re that popular mate?

A few points:

According to Robbie it’s “all downhill” after 25. And WTF, quarter life crisis? You actually think you’re going to live to 100?? Pfft.

The theme is “school uniform”. Apparently we are supposed to get out our old “ruggers” and “make fools of ourselves”.

He makes me want to punch him in his arrogant face.

Actually on second thoughts maybe I will go just to laugh at him and stalk him.

You can see the details here

Happy Birthday To Meeee

As you may or may not know, this weekend just gone was my birthday weekend. I had been saving myself up to end my one-month drinking ban in a spectacular and embarrassing fashion. After dolling ourselves up in inappropriate formal wear, we headed off to The Loft.

Suffice to say that after not drinking for a month, the alcohol went straight to my head. In fact after only three drinks I was already slurring and making absolutely no sense. Naroomina forced us all to pose for some photos and I complied so that might give you a sense of the level of intoxication I had reached by that stage. For some reason there is also a photo amongst the bunch of an oyster. Well at least I assume it was an oyster. I’m not entirely sure what all that’s about.

Anyway naturally we ended up back at the hole, seeing as they emailed me offering a $50 bar tab for my birthday. $50 my arse. Seriously, all we did was take the bar tab to different bars and we ended up spending over $100 without paying a cent. Goes to show how the hole’s business model needs a bit of fine tuning. Robbie was there for some reason on the door of Sobar. What’s the go with Robbie? Does he work there or something? Or does he just like standing in doorways? I like lurking in doorways but not usually at 2am. Well okay sometimes at 2am.

Anyway Naroomina and I started talking to a couple of blokes in the nightclub. Miss Contradiction had wandered off at this stage to fraternise with some locals. This one bloke who claimed to be some sort of diver (perhaps even a navy clearance diver) was trying to chat up Naroomina so he foisted his wingman off onto me. You know how it is. I hate feeling like the ugly friend who needs to be distracted. Especially on my birthday. Anyway the wingman was quite hot and a personal trainer and obviously willing to take one for the team but for some stupid reason I decided to wander off. For fuck’s sake. How dumb do I want to be?

Anyway Miss Contradiction and I got bored without any losers around we could stalk so we wandered home at around 2am.

The next day we ended up at The Oaks then the hole but I can’t really remember much of it, maybe Miss Contradiction can fill you all in more. I vaguely remember the day involving Uncle Pete and the weird French Canadian Irish bloke.

Oh yeah, and Jason can fire people now.

I told him to listen to his heart.

Sorry if this writing is rather mundane but I am currently in recovery phase and not thinking very clearly.

The end.

Taming The Blob: Help Needed

Sunday afternoon at The Oaks has become Red Blob's favourite haunt of late, and as I am planning on spending the time from Saturday afternoon to Sunday night blind drunk, there is a good chance I may run into her there.

I need some inspiration for a witty comeback in case she comes up and starts ranting maniacally at me again. So far I only have:

"You have something in your teeth".

Any other ideas?

Nautica Climbs The Ranks

Up until now Nautica has probably only been in the top five of losers we know. Like, he's a loser, but we know two or three people (ie Malcolm and Jason) who are much worse.

Look I can't be bothered explaining the history between myself and Nautica again. Suffice to say that I'm not a fan. Follow the links on Nautica to get a backgrounder. Anyone who drank at the hole three-to-five years ago will be familiar with Nautica's work. Speaking of three-to-five... why isn't Nautica doing that for fraud yet?

Anyway, Nautica the raging closeted 'mo pretty much entered the top echelon of losers yesterday. Like, the Pantheon of losers where all the losers who rule over the other losers live. We were at the Orchard Tavern in Chatswood at lunchtime prepping ourselves for Deryk's funeral with a few drinks. I'm not going to talk about Deryk's funeral because... I'm just not. Anyway. Orchard Tavern. Suddenly Bad Smell alerted me to the fact that Nautica was sitting over the way in some really ugly red long-sleeved polo shirt doing his best Pennywise "the evil clown from Stephen King's IT" impersonation. The last cringeworthy "sexy" message I got from him was probably about two months ago. HE WAS WEARING A WEDDING RING!!! As if being married isn't bad enough, can you imagine being married to that simpering fruitcake!!!

God, there is NOTHING more unattractive than a married man who hits on other women. Nautica should just get back in the drain with Pennywise where he belongs.

P.S. I am turning into a raging alcoholic since I stopped smoking (three weeks ago). Like drinking to overcompensate. I'm also anticipating that I'll put on about 10kgs. Come and get it while it's hot fellas!!!!

Breaking News: I'm Hideous When I'm Drunk

Naroomina and I were lurking around the hole last night blind drunk. And I mean really really drunk. And guess what. We saw the REAL Robbie. And guess what again. He's actually kind of hot. We both agreed. He was stamping wrists on the door at SoBar.

When I saw that he's hot, naturally I had to go up and make an absolute dick of myself. I told him he's on my Facebook page and then told him my name like he was supposed to know me. He looked at me blankly. Probably because he has like 60 million Facebook friends. I have 68. Then my shoe fell off. I said something about his dentist and walked away. Okay I didn't say it, it was more like a slur.

Then I stumbled home and passed out.

P.S. Derek passed away from lung cancer early Friday morning. Hole regulars may know Derek as the middle-aged man in the yellow 2nds World shirt who practically lived at the hole weekdays after work. It's sad. Derek was a sweetie. Bad Smell is devastated as they were very close.

Newsflash: This Saturday To Be Perfect Shallows / Drinking Weather

Forecast to be approximately 30 degrees, this Saturday will be the perfect day for sitting in the shallows at Balmoral splashing around like little kids and getting drunk. Discuss.

Everything Happens on the 8th of January

1. Elvis Presley's birthday

2. My Uncle's birthday

3. 2007 Miss Contradiction gave up smoking

4. 2008 Miss Contradiction gave up Jason.

Yes kids, you heard right...I have officially given up Jason. He is a direct health hazard and if I go there again, I will go to the pub dressed in the outfit above.

Jason Sucks: Applicants Wanted

As it has now been decided that Jason is no longer funny, he has now lost his job as our verbal punching bag and butt of all jokes.

We need someone new to make fun of and generally obsess over. Any offers?

P.S. I was at the hole last night and can't remember leaving, or getting home, can anyone offer any clues? I vaguely remember ranting at someone about something but for the life of me can't fill in the blanks.

I love a good rant whilst drunk.

An Updated List Of Things That Suck

* Sharing one's bed with another person
* The Megahole
* New Year's Eve
* Bitchy drag queens
* People who think bitchy drag queens are really funny and cool
* Holidays
* Work
* The losers at The Oaks

I am going to run away to Lithuania soon.