Will YOU be my soulmate?

Miss Contradiction and I spent a boozy lunch slash afternoon on Saturday working out who was going to be who in our lives.

This is what we came up with:

Miss Contradiction's life partner and soulmate: Panda
The executor of her will: The glassie, Joe (?)
Her legal advisor: Uncle Pete
Godparents to her children: Licensee and Poncho

My life partner and soulmate: Ivan Milat
The executor of my will: Jason
Legal advisor: That strange guy who works at Peppercorn
Godparents to my children: Missingham and a woman in a chicken suit.

I sent Jason an SMS to ask him if he would be the executor of my will and he didn't respond.

What's up with that?

Sheesh, you try to build a bridge...

Quick Question

Miss Contradiction and I were trying to work out last night whether or not the licensee is gay.

Although the high number of pink shirts in his wardrobe would suggest otherwise, I say no, he doesn't actually set my highly refined gaydar off.

Other people (mainly blokes) claim he is.

Discuss.

P.S. Miss Contradiction likes him more than me.

Stalking Update 01.04.07

Here's a list of people Miss Contradiction and I were stalking last night whilst off our faces, both on the stalking phone and in person:

* Andrew
* Jason
* Bad Smell
* Kylie Mole
* Red Blob
* Panda
* Licensee
* Random 20 year olds
* The guy we thought was Robbie several weeks ago (also found out it wasn't actually Robbie)

One of them has to give in and sleep with me eventually.