Penny Traiton

OK, after a long hiatus, I am back to blogging.

It pains me deeply to admit it, but Thursday nights at the Hole have livened up no end with the addition of the 7ft tall bingo calling drag queen "Penny Traiton".

We are even friends on Facebook.

The best part is when the local losers try to heckle her, she absolutely tears them to shreads with her wonderfully acidic repartee.

In other news, I had 3 alcoholic days this week and I think my body went into shock.

Jason Touches Down In The Information Age

After years of blundering around the Internet trying to work out the difference between email and tinnea, it appears that Jason Gray has finally conquered the Internet (or Facebook, at least).

Well, he's worked out how to join Facebook. Accepting friend requests is another matter.

I wonder what relationship it is that he's referring to? Last time I checked, the only meaningful relationship Jason has had in the past decade is with his icepipe.

Stupid, stupid Jason. He ripped me off for $20 at The Oaks on Friday night.

I hate Jason.

Jason Update

Well as you all probably know by now talking about Jason is the most important thing in our lives so here's another update.

Miss Contradiction and I were bored yesterday and emailed Jason to find out why he hasn't joined Facebook yet as he has a tribute group going. In reply, Jason droned (yes, Jason manages to drone in email) 'how do I get there?'. What, he thinks he can drive to Facebook?

Anyway it transpires that Jason couldn't handle life at the Good Guys Alexandria without his little boyfriend (Bad Smell) and handed in his resignation yesterday afternoon (I told you their co-dependence is alarming). Turns out he couldn't get a position at Bad Smell's new shop so is biding his time at a shop in Belrose somewhere, presumably selling fridges. Which is all well and good as long as he doesn't move back to our area.

Updated list of suburbs to avoid:
- Dulwich Hill
- Belrose
- Kensington

Alexandria is now safe for re-entry.

The Misadventures Of Jason Part 363

I am happy to report that Miss Contradiction and Jason are newly minted BFFs.

They were on the phone for several hours last night discussing the mysteries of Facebook, Lobo and some lame movie starring Will Smith.

The plot thickens...

How long until they announce their engagement? I predict two days.

I Am Sick Of Facebook Already

Well, it's only been two weeks since I joined and already I am regretting the day I ever heard about Facebook (2.5 weeks ago).

It's become a magnet for knobheads from high school to stalk me and act like we should be friends now.

HELLO, I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO TALK TO YOU AT HIGH SCHOOL, WHY WOULD I WANT TO TALK TO YOU A DECADE LATER ON THE INTERNET?? THAT IS WHY I ACCIDENTALLY 'LOST' ALL YOUR PHONE NUMBERS AND FORGOT YOUR SURNAMES AFTER YEAR 12. BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOU!! DUH

The only person from high school I have kept in touch with is Naroomina because most of the rest of them suck. And now they're all fat and married and have ugly babies. Yuck.

I am so not going to our reunion in October. It's at a bowling club on a Sunday afternoon, for God's sake. Fuck that.

Stupid twee North Sydney Girls.

EXCLUSIVE: Facebook Is The New Black

I may never need this blog again. Apparently there are more cyber shenanigans than you can poke a stick at over at Facebook!

Will you miss us if we stop writing stuff on this blog?