Okay well this is weird. Here was I, casually passed out after a drinking binge, and I wake up at 5am still drunk. And lo and behold Bad Smell is trying to 'booty call' me. Hello, do you not remember a certain 'pranking incident' where we completely humiliated you and your mate Jason??? Why would you even want to sleep with me? Are you that desperate?? Yes I know I am a fantastic root but is it really worth your dignity???
Oh yes, he is very good at wooing, the two messages I had were 'I am so horny' and 'I have my place to myself'. WELL IF THAT ISN'T ENOUGH TO MAKE ME RUN ACROSS TO RANDWICK AND HOP INTO BED WITH HIM, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS!!! So I write back at 5am and say 'you can't booty call me, it ain't healthy'. 5 mins later I get a call from a private number (obviously he has been stalking people too because that's my old trick) and I don't answer private numbers. My voicemail rings and he makes some weird arse sigh down the phone. FFS, KEEP YOUR WEIRD MASTURBATION RITUALS AWAY FROM ME!!! JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN ON AN ICE BINGE DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN FILL THE HOURS UNTIL DAWN BY ANNOYING ME!! P.S. I AM NOT INTO CASUAL MEANINGLESS SEX!!! OK I am, just not with you.
The end.
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8 comments:
Shut the fuck up.
:| dont hate me
Maybe I should sleep with him. After all it has been a while and I have my needs. And picking up a stranger is too hard. Hmmmmm. What to do.
Dont sleep with bad smell cuz he will think your gonna be his bitch now
sleep with
Ben Carrol
Andrew Johns
Ms Poncho's boyfriend
or
ME
:D
He is under no delusions about me being his 'bitch'. I never was and I never will be.
P.S. Who's Ben Carrol? And Poncho's boyfriend? Andrew Johns is a manwhore so no. And he has a big butt.
Ben Carrol = Licensee
Ponchos boyfriend = the guy shes always hanging around
p.s andrew johns was at so bar opening
Licensee is too short for me.
And at least I know my ex isn't going to give me any STDs.
He has that going in his favour.
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