Sam And The City Sucks
I hate Sam And The City too.
Samantha Brett was in my course at uni - though several years below me - and while I didn't know her personally, I can just imagine the particular brand of twee barbie power disguised as post-modern feminist empowerment that she was selling in tutorials.
In fact I can almost smell it through my monitor when I read her blog.
Goddamn.
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Ahh!! SNAP!! Did you get the invite from the Alumni office to the "meet and greet" session with her?!?! Nearly vomited right there and then.
Another barbie-feminist who did the same course was Kathryn Eisman - then girlfriend of Siimon Reynolds (she was 18, he about 38) and author of "How to tell a man by his shoes". She was totally fucking useless so obviously Siimon wrote it for her. Or paid someone to do it. She was planning on writing a follow up "How to tell a woman by her handbag", but it never eventuated. Writers block obviously kicked in at the ripe old age of 23...
What kills me is that she ended up being a goddamn entertainment reporter for NBC in NEW YORK! It still pains me all these years later... Meanwhile I just wallow in my own unfulfilled potential, writing randomly in other people's blogs and pretending I'm satisfied with my life...
I didn't get the invite. I don't get the alumni newsletter anymore because I moved and 'accidentally on purpose' forgot to tell them.
As if I'd want to go to some meet and greet session with some Barbie whose sold claim to fame is writing a book about text messaging - for Christsake, what's up with that - and who rips half of her SMH columns off Google results.
SAMANTHA BRETT, YOU ARE A SPOILED EASTERN SUBURBS PRINCESS!!!
Kathryn Eisman also annoys me with her ex-boyfriend Siimon 'with two i's because it's some weird numerology thing' Reynolds.
Go back to Hugo's and choke on your designer beers, you effwits.
I THINK SHES FUKEN HOT AND WOULD LOVE TO TAKE HER SEX TIPS FIRST HAND AND FUCK HER VAGINA WHILE I FINGER HER ASS RING.
TOWN BIKE U UP FOR SUM LUVING? I WANNA PENETRATE UR ASSHOLE.
Is this guy like 15?
Oh, you know I love it when you talk dirty to me.
I bet you're a hair-puller too.
Swoon.
Such romantic words!!!
How can a girl resist?
I've never been wooed like this before! Or with so many capital letters!
He loves you so much that he is SHOUTING about the fact!!
Hmm. Back on Samantha Brett, in yesterday's column she was talking about 'mental foreplay'. So tell me, is that the same thing as a 'head fuck'?
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