Wherefore Art Thou Duromine?

I hear through the grapevine that doctors are no longer as willing to prescribe my favourite prescription drug, the hardcore weight loss pill Duromine, even to overweight people.

Considering I am well within the healthy weight range it has always been slightly harder for me to be prescribed it, though I do have my tricks (which I am not going to divulge here).

Of course one of the 'fortunate' side effects is not only that you lose weight at an alarming rate, but you also walk around the entire time as if you are speeding and eventually you have a nervous breakdown.

But most importantly, you lose weight for special events (such as going out on a Saturday night and trying to pick up).

I miss Duromine. I remember fondly the time Miss Contradiction and I were so desperate to be off our faces and seeing as we had no other options we decided to shaft a couple of Duromines.

Which is only marginally better than the time we decided to shaft a couple of Zolofts and follow it up later in the night with a few Valiums.

After which Jason broke into Miss Contradiction's house and filmed us sleeping (we were so out of it that we had no idea he was there).

Rather adorably, Miss Contradiction is trying to spoon me in the film clip, which Jason sent to me on my mobile phone.

We are very classy women.