Monday, 22 October 2007
Jason Went Number Twos In Miss Contradiction's Bed During Sex
And no, it wasn't a kinky thing either. It was purely accidental and because he is filthy and disgusting.
Then he tried to blame her cat. Now trust me, Miss Contradiction's cat is a very proud purebred and would never, ever go to the toilet where she sleeps. I've shared a bed with Miss Contradiction and cat numerous times and we've never had the problem of waking up lying in excrement (yet).
Speaking of which... note to self: don't sleep in Miss Contradiction's bed again until sheets have been burned and Jason poo spirit has been exorcised.
Guess Who’s Back?
Sunday, 21 October 2007
It's All Miss Contradiction's Fault
Well, this is according to my father (Kelvs), who made this outlandish claim while we were down at the Mosman RSL yesterday afternoon watching the race and getting blind drunk.
My father, who was quite the ladies' man back in the day, has clearly gone senile in the last few years as he says some very strange things to Miss Contradiction, including:
* Stating that she had 'redeemed herself for the Maldivian affair' after he backed a winner a few races later
* Threatening to kneecap her
* Telling her to think of original things to say after she agreed with him once
My father is a strange man.
Hope it doesn't run in the family.
Coming Soon: The Misadventures Of Mr Poopy Pants
Disgusting, but hilarious, and a serious threat to my already tenuous hold on my sexuality.
Yes, dear blog stalkers, after hearing this story I may truly never have sex again.
Jason.
Friday, 19 October 2007
Penny Traiton
Thursday, 18 October 2007
No News To Report
AS IF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, 10 October 2007
Monday, 8 October 2007
Our Adventures In Jason’s Old Stomping Ground
Thursday, 4 October 2007
BREAKING NEWS!!!
I have narrowed the list of suspects to:
* Jason
* Lobo
* Jason
* Andrew
* A man in a chicken suit
* Miss Contradiction
Who could it be? Only time will tell.