For some reason, after Jason told both myself and Town Bike to ‘Lose his number’, he randomly decides to start stalking us on Friday night. Town Bike gave me the heads up that he was on the prowl so I left our spiritual home and promptly passed out.
I awake at 5.30 am to check my phone and was greeted with 12 text messages and 3 voice mail messages.
Text messages read as follows;
12.06 am Pick up fuck ya stupid
12.09 am Get off the phone
12.09 am Off
12.11 am I am jumping in a cab
12.14 am At least pick up?
12.18 am If your (sic) there, your there. Whatever.
12.20 am Ok so u wont pick up. What’ve I done?
12.39 am Ok u fucken hate me. Whatever. Im here. Just wanna say hi. Im not that bad?
12.59 am Should I stalk you?? Loosen up
1.05 am Pick up (Miss Contradiction). Do you really hate me?
1.11am If u hate me I’ll leave. But I didn’t think you did. I can at least tell you, if you cared. Im downstairs.
1.18 am Im here. Just wanna make peace. Really like and miss you. Can disapear (sic) if preferred but not desired. SAY SOMETHING damn it
1.26 am Ok so were not even mates. My fault. Sorry take care.
Yes Jason, I do hate you. Yes you are that bad. Yes please, disappear – it is certainly my preference. Permanently if possible.
Notice how the tone quickly goes from slightly abusive to embarrassingly pathetic?
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10 comments:
What the hell does 'can disappear if preferred but not desired' mean? Of course we want him to disappear. Why would he even ask?
Actually, no. Idon't hate him. Hating would imply I gave a shit.
I save my hatred for important people. Like the bar girl who never fills my wine glass past the line.
Damn her!!
GO AWAY JASON UNGH
Why would he assume I would like to polute my new found heathy (ier) lifestyle with his criminal, drug addicted, prostituting ways?
By healthier I mean I haven't smoked for 15 days and was home in bed by 11pm Friday and Saturday....yes I know. My body is in shock. I am even contemplating exercise.
Don't worry bloggers, I am still committed to my alcoholism and will still pay regular visits to our spiritual home.
BTW, I think when he said 'I just want to say hi' he actually meant 'I just want to root you and leave'
Probably because he is sick of tooling his preggers 45 yo ex.
I WOULDN'T ROOT YOU AGAIN IF YOU WERE THE LAST REPROBATE ON THE PLANET!!!
I wouldn't touch Jason with a 10ft pole. Because with Jason you're not just getting sloppy seconds. You're getting sloppy one-hundred-and-forty seconds.
By the way, I wish I could say I was in bed by 11pm on Saturday night.
Instead I undertook a mammoth 12-hour bender that started with champagne in my apartment at 3.30pm, encompassed drinking at the Green Park in Darlinghurst, then some random bar in Kings Cross, then I found myself slumped on the fashion couch at our spiritual home at 3.30am Sunday.
Thank God I wore flat shoes.
Needless to say I felt a little worse for wear on Sunday.
I think my 5 year head start on Town Bike is beginning to show.
My years of crapulent all nighters that end on Sunday evenings will now be saved for special occasions only.
Am I too young to apply for the pension?
I envy pensioners their $1.10 all day travel passes.
Damn them.
Are you kidding? Apart from last weekend, you tend to hit it far harder than me. I can recall many sleepless Saturday nights for you.
It should be me who's five years older!!
I said 'beginning' to catch up with me.
Yes, in my hey day (ie: prior to last weekend)I was able to go entire weekends with no sleep, fuelled by alcohol and entertained by the shenanigans unfolding around me at the hole.
Alas, as Pete and the other idiosyncratic identities leave of the hole, leave for greener pastures (OK, they were banned), the all weekend benders have lost their appeal (OK, I'm broke and can't afford it)
Fuelled by alcohol, eh?
Whatever you reckon
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