In the tradition of 'certain people we know' taking inappropriate people to their work Xmas parties (ie, another man - I'm looking at you Jason, siblings, pieces of paper), here is my list of potential people I may take as my date to my Xmas party.
* My best friend from primary school, whom I haven't seen in 18 years.
* The guy who was driving my bus yesterday afternoon.
* A hobbit.
* A cat.
* A soccer ball with a wig on it and a face drawn on with lipstick.
In fact, I think I might turn up to the pub tonight with a box of tissues as my date.
SEE YOU THERE!!
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Other options may include;
1. The glassie
2. A tuperware container
3. Billy Joel
4. A red paperclip
5. Uncle Pete
6. An empty can of Campbells chicken soup
7. A man in a chicken suit
8. Becky
9. An Otto bin
10. Canada
11. A discarded apple core
P.S. Why is Billy Joel inappropriate?? I would be proud if he would come to the pub as my date.
Actually I am going to take a ventriloquist's dummy to the pub tonight - with my hand up its arse - and tell everyone it's my new best friend, and that we met at a blog meet last week.
I think you should take pete as your date, he would take the party to another drunken/abusive level, good times would be had by all.
Pete does not abuse. He loves to squeeze my rack and that's it.
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