Happy Birthday To Meeee

As you may or may not know, this weekend just gone was my birthday weekend. I had been saving myself up to end my one-month drinking ban in a spectacular and embarrassing fashion. After dolling ourselves up in inappropriate formal wear, we headed off to The Loft.

Suffice to say that after not drinking for a month, the alcohol went straight to my head. In fact after only three drinks I was already slurring and making absolutely no sense. Naroomina forced us all to pose for some photos and I complied so that might give you a sense of the level of intoxication I had reached by that stage. For some reason there is also a photo amongst the bunch of an oyster. Well at least I assume it was an oyster. I’m not entirely sure what all that’s about.

Anyway naturally we ended up back at the hole, seeing as they emailed me offering a $50 bar tab for my birthday. $50 my arse. Seriously, all we did was take the bar tab to different bars and we ended up spending over $100 without paying a cent. Goes to show how the hole’s business model needs a bit of fine tuning. Robbie was there for some reason on the door of Sobar. What’s the go with Robbie? Does he work there or something? Or does he just like standing in doorways? I like lurking in doorways but not usually at 2am. Well okay sometimes at 2am.

Anyway Naroomina and I started talking to a couple of blokes in the nightclub. Miss Contradiction had wandered off at this stage to fraternise with some locals. This one bloke who claimed to be some sort of diver (perhaps even a navy clearance diver) was trying to chat up Naroomina so he foisted his wingman off onto me. You know how it is. I hate feeling like the ugly friend who needs to be distracted. Especially on my birthday. Anyway the wingman was quite hot and a personal trainer and obviously willing to take one for the team but for some stupid reason I decided to wander off. For fuck’s sake. How dumb do I want to be?

Anyway Miss Contradiction and I got bored without any losers around we could stalk so we wandered home at around 2am.

The next day we ended up at The Oaks then the hole but I can’t really remember much of it, maybe Miss Contradiction can fill you all in more. I vaguely remember the day involving Uncle Pete and the weird French Canadian Irish bloke.

Oh yeah, and Jason can fire people now.

I told him to listen to his heart.

Sorry if this writing is rather mundane but I am currently in recovery phase and not thinking very clearly.

The end.