Well, well, well. If we don't have a new slapper on the scene at the Cremorne Hotel, we will call her Moll Flanders, although I do believe that may be giving her too much credit.
Now Moll has been on the scene now for a few months and I had already heard of some of her antics but was yet to meet her in full living colour.
She was out in full force on Saturday afternoon, taking any opportunity to bare all by asking one of her *ahem* conquests if he thought she was too skinny. This obviously required her to lift her top up and do a 360 so everyone could ponder whether she had in fact lost weight. Possibly she thought this may not have been obvious in the size 10 childrens t-shirt she was wearing.
Miss Penelope filled me in on the antics of Sunday afternoon, where Moll was big-hearted enough to offer Miss Penelope a girl on girl good time...bless her. Miss Penelope declined.
Although my favourite Moll Flanders tale involves her bedding one bloke in one bedroom, getting up and walking into the flamates room and bedding him directly after. One wonders whether she had the chance to at least wash her nether bits in between.......eeeuuuuughhhhhhh!!!
Slaphorn could be a vestal virgin in comparison to this little number.
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In regards to asking said conquest if she was losing weight and letting said conquest feel her butt. 'Don't look at me like that, we're like brother and sister'.
Yes, because I often let my siblings grope and tag-team me.
"The Fortunes and Misfortunes of the Famous Moll Flanders, Etc. Who was born in Newgate, and during a life of continu'd Variety for Threescore Years, besides her Childhood, was Twelve Year a Whore, five times a Wife (whereof once to her own brother), Twelve Year a Thief, Eight Year a Transported Felon in Virginia, at last grew Rich, liv'd Honest and died a Penitent. Written from her own Memorandums."
Sounds about right... except for the liv'd Honest and died a Penitent part.
I wonder what the skanktastic Moll Flanders is up to tonight. I might give her a call so we can hang out and watch the Origin together.
I've heard Moll is quite a fan of scrums.
I wanna meet her =)
Does the hole have any customers left now that smoking has been banned ?
I believe not... it was empty when I walked past at about 6pm..
Now I have images of 20-year-old Andrew and 40-year-old Moll Flanders getting acquainted.
Ewwwww.
shes 40? what the fuck
wow gonna be challenging for me not smoking in clubs this weekend!
Smoking is for the weak.
Actually she is 40.
And no, the hole has no customers left, I can confirm this as I went by during the badge draw and there were about 10 people there.
Oh how the mighty have fallen.
I'll bet the Oaks was packed.
I hate the hole.
I HATE IT SO MUCH!!!!!
P.S. I secretly love it too.
I entered the hole last night at 10.30 and was very amused by the bar man Zac. He always seems to be on drugs and can't get any orders right. He then wanted to talk to me about limes....fun.
I also had Moll, who is a yoga instructor, show me how flexible she was and tell me how much fun we can have in the bedroom together. I left her kissing some othey guy. She is definatley working her way round the pub at a pace that Slaphorn could not keep up with. Maybe those two should get together.
Moll Flanders is the ultimate butterface. She has a decent enough figure for a 40-year-old, BUT HER FACE!!!
I finally worked out who long, long fringes were made for...
Who is Zac? Not my old stalkee Zac from Home and Away? I thought he got fired for selling $30 bottles of wine for $3 by mistake.
Yes. Zac from H&A. He has come back out the woodwork.
I wonder where he was.
I must ask him next time I am outside his window at 3am going through his garbage.
Zac stole a smoke off me on friday night
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