Town Bike and I were lucky enough to have a brush with fame on Saturday night. Not that I have much recollection of it as I was completely off chops.Yes we got talking to a lead singer in a band!!! I will call him Mr Bean (MB). APPARENTLY what transpired went something like this, MB was trying to get into Town Bikes pants, then she ran off to have half a cigarette because she thinks I won't notice. Actually she could have done a strip tease whilst smoking a cigar and I probably wouldn't have noticed....however I digress.
Town Bike comes back to find me chatting to him...God knows what about. At some stage I end up pashing him. Now I know he was originally after Town Bike but she technically has a boyfriend and now that I don't smoke I obviously needed something to do with my mouth.
He invited us to go to his 'gig' next week at one of those trendy places that is nothing like our spiritual home. Town Bike sms'd him our blog address (so if you're reading this you know who you are) and 24 hours later gets a voice message from MB's phone, although it was actually a woman demanding to know who's number it is. Then another message presumably from MB asking who's number it is.
Did I mention he was spinning some sob story about breaking up with his girlfriend? No, I don't think I did. I get the distinct impression she might not be aware of it. Why are men so bloody stupid. GIVE OUT A FAKE NUMBER OR SOMETHING....it's not rocket science for crying out loud.
Actually, he was pretty cute. If you are reading this, you can contact me on 0419 317 446.
Mwuuahhh xx
24 comments:
Haha. What a loser. And this was after I told him I was gay too because I was busying trying to sneak a cigarette and stalk someone else.
And can I just say, what was up with people asking us to go swimming on Saturday night? Is that code for 'can my sperm go swimming in your uterus'? Whatever.
Oh and let's not forget that he followed us down the street as we repaired for the night at 5am and I had to shoo him off like a stray dog.
I couldn't let you take him home because I'd already called the other side of your bed.
Reminds me of the time we both shared a bed with Jason....he followed us home and was not happy with being given the couch to sleep on. The snoring was excruciating. Then there was the foot odour.
Hmmmmm.
Oh yes. That was one of the worst night's sleeps I've ever had. I remember I had to go home and take a Stilnox to sink into sweet oblivion and erase the memories.
That was nearly as disturbing as the time he broke into your apartment and filmed us sleeping.
By the way, no rock star with any sort of credibility would be caught dead at the megahole. This guy was obviously delusional.
I hope MB's girlf does check out the blog and read how her boyf was pashing you - ha! Lesbians unite :P
Why Mr Bean? Did he have some kind of Tourette's syndrome that caused facial twitching? Or were you subtly referring to him being a has-been? I must admit I'm intrigued as I ALSO met a lead singer in a band on Saturday night - although when he proceeded to serenade me (in Minsky's by this stage) I had to come to the conclusion that he was both delusional and rather frightening...
Haha, I think being the lead singer in a band is the new navy clearance diver, which used to be the occupation du jour for men to lie about to pick up women.
NOTE TO MEN WHO LIE ABOUT THEIR OCCUPATION: WE CAN ALWAYS TELL WHEN YOU'RE LYING!! NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU DO FOR A LIVING!! JUST TELL THE TRUTH!! WE USUALLY ONLY ASK TO MAKE CONVERSATION, NOT TO MAKE A SNAP JUDGEMENT ON YOUR WORTHINESS AS A POTENTIAL ROOT!!
This tool was wearing an ugly red gingham shirt. I hope his girlfriend finds this blog and shoves his gingham shirt so far up his arse that it comes out his mouth when he's rocking out on stage.
I find there are still an abundance of navy clearance divers when you head down to the Mosman Hotel... there seems to be a disproportionate number of skinny, weedy, long-haired lunatics apparently charged with the responsibility of protecting our shores... considering some look like they can barely swim (and certainly haven't seen a shower for some time) this is quite terrifying
Once this idiot told my sister (who doesn't hang aroundt he hole much) that he was a navy clearance diver while I was standing right next to her.
Unfortunately for him I knew him quite well and quickly informed my sister that he wasn't a navy clearance diver so much as a drug addict who had just checked himself out of rehab early.
Honestly, was he that off his face that he thought I would forget that he wasn't actually a navy clearance diver?
But was he wearing a gingham shirt? I'd forgive most things (eventually) but the wearing of a gingham shirt whilst lying about being a navy clearance diver (or a rock star for that matter) is not something I could ever get over. I think gingham and I think Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz...
The gingham shirt was just hideous, if I was his girlfriend I'd dump him too, for crimes against fashion alone.
He looked like a walking, talking, leering picnic basket.
Throw in some arse-less chaps and I'd think about it...
Did you know the lead guy in Spinal Tap is also the guy who does heaps of the voices on The Simpsons, eg Ned Flanders and Mr Burns??
I feel sick
The psycho 'ex' girlfriend has been ringing me continuously leaving threatening me messages for trying it on with her 'boyfriend'.
Unfortunately I wasn't 1. interested in her boyfriend 2. interested in what she has to say.
She was also stupid enough to stalk me from her work phone number. I called the switchboard and found out that ha, we happen to work in the same industry and my boss is quite tight with her boss.
HA! Any more calls and I'll be placing a call to her boss.
IDIOT!
Perhaps she needs to attend our stalking 101 class.
Never ring from your actual number. Always block your caller ID.
I always do that whilst stalking Panda whilst off my face.
Note to psycho stalker - WHY DON'T YOU TALK TO YOUR 'BOYFRIEND' ABOUT WHAT TRANSPIRED ON SATURDAY NIGHT AND STOP HARRASSING INNOCENT PARTIES!!!
Yes you idiot... here's a clue... 1831 then dial the number!!
Clearly he has depicted us as two horny temptresses who drugged him and were all over him.
Aside from the fact I told him I was a lesbian to shoo him off, and he was wearing a red gingham shirt...
DEAR GOD NO!!
This valium is making it hard to type.
By the way, it's been a while since we stalked Panda... or has it?
Did we call him on Saturday night?
Perhaps...
Yes we did. We also stalked Jason, 1831 style.
This is not the first time I have been stalked by the ex girlfriend of someone called the same name as Mr Bean.
The other Mr Bean was the aforementioned Navy clearance diver / drug addict.
Damn good root but a bit of a strange character. Has a penchant for using innapropriate punctuation in text messages?
By stalked, I meant stalked by proxy because she is actually stalking Town Bike. Although apparently she has asked for my number as well. This indicates she may be reading this blog.
I hope so, I love a good cyber stalk.
Perhaps we need another flower pot for her to sit on.
Oh, I hope she calls me back, when I can talk again I will tell her exactly how much trouble she is in, personally and professionally...
Can't wait. Game on, mole!
Name and shame girls, name and shame - WHAT IS MR BEAN'S REAL NAME?!?! It's about time someone made these fuckwits accountable for their own behaviour
That's hilarious. Has she got nothing better to do!!
Is she leaving her name??
Now you have her number, lets stalk her at work!!
She left her name on my voicemail but I deleted her psychotic rantings.
She leaves the messages in this 'sickly sweet but vaguely psychotic' voice that sends chills down my spine.
LOSER!
Post a Comment