Agony Aunts Part 12,345,789

Due to the fact that the site has become rather boring of late (and in all honesty I am running out of things to say because nothing ever happens in my uneventful life) here is your next Agony Aunts post.

Ask us anything about anything and we'll attempt to answer it.

All sexual propositions should go here too.

Love,
Town Bike

Agony Aunts Part 154

Ask all your questions about life, love and the universe here and I'll attempt to solve them in my usual rambling fashion.

All sexual propositions should go here too.

Love,
Town Bike

Agony Aunts Pt IV

Time to have all your questions answered by the blog gang again.

Question us about love, life, the universe, anything and we promise to make something up to make you feel better.

We may even reveal our top secret identities if you ask nicely (or we may lie, who knows).

All sexual propositions should go here to.

Love,
Town Bike

Agony Aunts Pt III

Ask away with all your relationship problems and we'll try to solve them!! We won't try very hard though.

Agony Aunts Pt II

Now I know how hard it is to ask for help so I am giving you one last chance.

Ask Aunty Town Bike for help re: your relationship troubles and you won't have to get your head smacked in.

This is it: ask for help or I'm shutting up shop and taking my god damn blog with me.

This is the official blog for all youngsters who are having trouble with the opposite sex and need advice.

Unfortunately in my 26 years on the earth I have run the full gamut of male behaviour and can give you the best advice re: entrapping a potential partner into your web of intrigue and sex.

Take my advice as a woman of the world and the drink and you will be repaid handsomly in words.

Otherwise I'm picking up my laptop and my blog and going home.

So ask away with your relationship/girl questions. Because I'm so good at that!

Here's an example of questions I'm anticipating:

Q: I've seen this ho from across the pub and I really want to get into her pants. What do I do??

A: My son, you need to bide your time. Buy her a drink, make conversation. Then wait until her friends have left. Follow her home and wait behind some bushes. Stick out your foot and trip her over and then pretend like you didn't do it. Then offer to take her to the hospital to fix her ankle. When the nurses aren't looking you can jump her.

SEE? I'm good at this. Ask away.

Agony Aunts

Ok people....time to give something back!! Now we know you are visiting our site (why? - because we know EVERYTHING) - but you are not posting. Town Bike and myself are getting thoroughly sick of each other and would like opinions from other people.

So I have decided to introduce this agony aunt post. Ask us anything about ourselves, life, the universe, the hole. Absolutely anything. We promise to answer in our own unique rambling fashion.

Basically our goal is to be picked up by Google, and if we have enough hits, we may even surpass the Cremorne Hotel in terms of search result order.

So get posting and make our site No. 1!! Tell your friends, tell your family, tell random men dressed in chicken suits.

Just get cracking people - STAT!