I have a notoriously tricky record with vacuum cleaners. When Bad Smell and I were living together, he once caught me pushing the vacuum cleaner around our apartment in an attempt to clean. Unfortunately the vacuum wasn't on at the time. True story. As an appliance salesman, you can only imagine how he's never let me live it down.
So anyway one of the heads of my vacuum cleaner has been out of action for the last few weeks. It didn't seem to be sucking anything up anymore.
So who do I call? Bad Smell, of course. Because he's not just a fridge salesman - oh no, he has many talents and skills, most of them legal. He also sells air conditioners, washing machines and other household appliances.
He came over last night to fix it and turns out the problem was that large clumps of my long lustrous hair have been getting caught in the head. I also haven't emptied the vacuum in 18 months. No I couldn't figure that out for myself.
He conveniently timed it so he arrived when it was too late for me to turn him back out onto the street after finishing his chores. So I had to sleep with him. Well I could hardly not. Then I'd just look like a user, wouldn't I?
As it turns out, a vacuum cleaner head isn't the most ridiculous thing I've ever whored myself out for.
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5 comments:
I wish more people would comment.
Jason? Is that you?
None of youdumb losers are getting any more serves of any existential angst until there are more comments. What do I look like, some kind of dumb web site posting machine?? Pffft.
keep blogging, give me something to laugh at...go on, you know you want to.
Now I'm back at work I have plenty of time to write misguided shit on the internet.
Thank God the holidays are over for another year.
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