Jason Study Guide

It has occurred to me that some of you may not fully understand the concept of ‘Jason’. Hence I have taken it upon myself to write this Jason Study Guide so you too can converse in our language.

For starters: In himself, Jason is not interesting, funny or amusing. The only interest value he has is what we attribute to him.

What I mean by that is that Miss Contradiction and myself have turned Jason into the ultimate joke. We haven’t seen him in at least six months but he has become the ultimate non sequitur for us.

For example, on a Saturday morning I might wake up hungover and Miss Contradiction might have texted me the message ‘Jason’. So I might text back ‘Jason in the sky with diamonds’. Then she might write back ‘Indiana Jason’. Then I would write ‘In Jason we trust’.

Or on another day we might be having an email conversation at work then Miss Contradiction might email me out of the blue and say ‘are you catching up with Jason tonight?’ and I will write back ‘yes we are catching up for dinner and a movie’.

The third correct usage of the term Jason is when perusing the media. You might see a story about some loser or bum who has been involved in methamphetamines/drink driving. Then you say ‘looks like Jason is up to his old tricks again’.

And last but not least, Miss Contradiction and I have great fun texting Jason when off our faces. Often times this message simply says ‘Jason’, as if to suggest he doesn’t know his own name.

The end.